The 1980s are often described as the worst decade for cinema.
Even when the melodies are fine, the lyrics are frequently absurd.
Consequently, critics rippledThe Appleto shreds on release, and its reputation asan all-time stinkerhas only grown over time.
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The plot takes a backseat to supposedly exciting imagery, leaving little room for character development or narrative cohesion.
As a result,the movie is mostly remembered for its attempted softcore eroticismand over-the-top portrayal of the jungle.
It all ultimately feels hollow and exploitative, a far cry fromthe 1999 animated versionor even 1960’sTarzan the Magnificent.
Image via Atlantic Releasing
8’Ishtar' (1987)
Directed by Elaine May
Danger is my middle name.
By the time the film reaches its climax, any remaining interest has been long extinguished.
Hype plus poor execution proved to be a fatal combination, causingIshtarto bomb at the box office.
Itgrossedjust $14.4m against a $51m budget.
Critics were quick to add it to the pantheon of all-time worst films.
Subsequent reviews have been a little kinder to it, butIshtaris still far from good.
The animatronic designs of the Garbage Pail Kids are more unsettling than endearing.
Some of them borer on nightmare fuel.
Plus, a lot of their antics are simply inappropriate for younger viewers.
The voice acting is similarly dreadful (the live performances are wooden too).
The fourth installment in theJawsfranchise sinks to new depths, providing a jarring juxtaposition toSteven Spielberg’s terrific original.
This is essentially an aquatic slasher movie.
The concept is absurd, and the characters frequently defy logic.
Then there are the laughable special effects, including a blatantly fake shark in the climax.
It looks like a goldfish compared to the fearsome animatronics of the first film.
Somehow,Michael Cainewas roped into this disaster, with his supporting character providing the only moments of levity.
It has the production value of a B-movie and all the emotional depth of aCall of Dutycutscene.
The North Korean soldiers, for example, have no lines.
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They are plot devices rather than real people.
4’Ghosts Cant Do It' (1989)
Love never dies.
This is essentiallyPatrick Swayze’sGhost, had it been directed byEd Wood.
Perhaps the most notable thing about this movie is that it wonDonald Trumpa Razzie for Worst Supporting Actor.
3’Hobgoblins' (1988)
Directed by Rick Sloane
Small creatures.
And that’s without even getting started on the low-quality puppetry.
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However, it’s difficult to take that claim seriously.
That’s becauseHobgoblinsdoesn’t have the kind of over-the-top, intentionally ridiculous tone that can make bad movies enjoyable.
Rather than being ‘so bad it’s good’,watching this dud is a pure chore.
Together, they evade government agents and attempt to reunite MAC with his family.
The resulting movie traffics in saccharine sentimentality, unconvincing special effects, and awkward dance numbers.
For example, at one point, the dying alien is revived by a life-giving sip of Coke.
Even the title is a sneaky bit of branding.
It’s legitimately amazing that a movie this awful and brazen exists.
It’s the poster child for ’80s corporate cash-grab filmmaking.
Image via Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
1’Going Overboard' (1989)
Directed by Valerie Breiman
Comedy doesnt sinkit drowns.
He stars as Shecky Moskowitz, a struggling comedian working as a waiter on a luxury cruise ship.
This feels like a bad student film.
While die-hard fans of the actor may appreciateGoing Overboardas a curiosity, most viewers are likely to abandon ship.
NEXT:The 10 Worst Psychological Thriller Movies of All Time, Ranked
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After an alien family accidentally gets transported to Earth during a space mission, one of the young aliens finds himself separated from his parents. Struggling to survive in a new world, he encounters a boy who helps him evade capture while searching for a way to reunite with his family.
